Perhaps I'm a coward

Hola. So today my friends Ashley and Whitney got back from their trip, and I was reminded of the fact that I am a) a lonely old bat b) a coward. An intro, I believe, is needed for Ashley and Whitney. Ashley is a queen bee, who is nicest for one-on-ones. In groups, she needs to be the center of attention, which is annoying sometimes. Don't get me wrong. She's nice (most of the time). She can keep a secret. She loves to have fun. And she can make anyone laugh. Whitney is often defined by Ashley, although I don't think she likes it. Whitney's more of an introvert, who hates that she comes across as shy. She's someone who not that many really know, but she's really amazing if you know her. Whitney and Ashley are beeeest friends. To that max. And sometimes it's tough to get to know Whitney when you're around Ashley. And I, am the third wheel. I am the friend who does not have a best friend. Okay, rewind a little. I have lots of friends other than A and W. But, though they are amazing, I don't get to see them as much. One lives far away, three go to other schools, and one is just not in the same group as I am, so she's harder to see. And so I am nobody's go to friend. I am always second best. Which sucks.

Which brings me to point two. I'm really not sure that Ashley likes me. For me. I think she likes me because I basically provide a cafeteria service to her, because she can come over for lunch. And because she really doesn't actually have that many friends. We have lots of fun together plenty of the time, but sometimes I'm just not sure.

Today, as previously mentioned, they got back a trip. And I was actually kind of looking forward to them coming over at lunch. But noooo. They were going out for lunch together. I was left out again. Okay, so I sound like a miserable old wretch. But listen. I am the one who always wants to go out. And we never do. And if I were going out with either of them, the other would feel outraged that they were left out. So why the hell am I always getting left out of things?

Being the third wheel sucks.

And if I had the tiniest bit of guts, I would have spoken up and said "Hey guys, no hard feelings but you make me feel really left out sometimes. How would you like it if this situation was reversed?" But I obviously have no innards because I said absolutely nada. Zilch.

And so I spent lunch watching Grey's Anatomy.

I have discovered, over my short (nearly) fifteen years of life, that responsibility and doing your own thing leads me to a whole lot of nothing and watching  Grey's Anatomy. Which rocks the first month, when you've just started the seventh grade and you feel so darn free! And then it starts to sink in that if you died tomorrow, looking back you'd see a lot of afternoons filled up with meaningless nothing. And so you have problem number one. Problem number two runs along the same lines. I live within walking distance of my school, and every single day my friends and I go through the same routine. "Hey, what are you doing for lunch today?" they ask. "Just going home, wanna come?" "Yeah, sure.". And oh my goodness it gets tedious. All we do is chat and at a certain point, there is nothing left to say! The people are fine, but we really need to add some variety in there. So that's this blog. Trying to change my life so that on any given day, I have accomplished something, created something, learned something, exercised... lived. Follow me, or move on to the next blog. This is just me, seizing the day, and looking out for tomorrow.